she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize