I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
