I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Farmville is her only friend.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
