you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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