I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
