chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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