so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
