I must be too annoying 4 u.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
