I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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