dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
