You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just pee around me
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
