Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
