i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i want to fuck
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it's pretty self explanatory
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I want her autograph on my taint
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
