I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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