That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Terrible idea I love it
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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