My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
