a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
