who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
love makes seman taste better
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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