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Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
