i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just invented taco cereal.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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