U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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