I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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