I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
