i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
