i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
