oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
