you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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