At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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