Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
