Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
