You work out of a Hotel?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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