Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
