just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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