If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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