Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
