oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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