I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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