I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
