Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
