My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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