It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
