If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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