Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
