All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
