im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
