how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
