I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
