I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
