I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
