Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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