She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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