Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
