Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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