She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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