Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You made out with two different species that night
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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