Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
