we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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