he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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