A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize