The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
