I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
