So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
