i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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