Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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