My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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