dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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