I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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