Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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