im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
