sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
