So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
