4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
