I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
