Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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