I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
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i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I need a beard to bite.
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