Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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